Bob Barr

Government has a batch of Brownies
November 30, 2005

Meet Michael Brown - failed political candidate, ousted horse association manager, disgraced Federal Emergency Management Agency manager and now . . . high-priced consultant. That's right; the spectacularly unqualified Bush appointee, who joined forces with a hurricane named Katrina to wreck New Orleans, is now offering his services as a "disaster preparedness consultant."

For those who have never worked in the federal government, former FEMA chief Brown's behavior appears divorced from reality, almost bizarre. However, with a bit of context and a little understanding of how our federal government works, his actions suddenly become surprisingly rational.

Of course, no sane person would trust Brown to plop an egg into a pot of boiling water without screwing up, much less ask him to help respond to a major natural disaster with millions of lives, and possibly billions of dollars, at stake. Why, then, might Brown be correct in thinking he will be able to earn a comfortable living by asking people - including those in government agencies - to pay him for advice it is patently obvious he is unqualified to give?

Discovering the answer to this question requires a brief explanation of how the federal government works. We start with a guy like Brown, who appears to be deserving of kudos just for remembering to brush his teeth, tie his shoes and zip up his pants before walking out the door But, let's say we give Mike - or "Brownie," as President Bush fondly called him - a couple of valuable assets.

First, we make Brownie an exceedingly likable and harmless guy, the kind of person who everyone enjoys and no one fears. This asset alone virtually guarantees him at least a managerial job in the federal government because he's fun to be around, and no one above him has to worry he will do something really smart and innovative and make them look stupid or steal their job.

Secondly, we set up the circumstances so that Brownie happens to be best pals with the president's campaign manager. Combined with his utter harmlessness and basic liability, this connection virtually guarantees Brown a second-tier presidential appointment. That appointment normally wouldn't be to run FEMA, but hey, it was a slow year for appointees when Brownie came along, and he lucked out.

Now, what do you suppose Brownie started doing almost as soon as he got his new federal job? Like most individuals finding themselves in such a swell situation, he started doing as many favors as possible for people who could help him later. Although we'll never know the exact details, there's no doubt Brownie spent his tenure at FEMA making regular deposits into the favor bank. A photo op with a donor here, a favorable word for a vendor there, and pretty soon - to make a long story short - you've made a lot of people with a lot of money very happy.

After doing this for a few years, you've put enough deposits into the favor bank to start making some withdrawals. And, if you've made enough deposits, you can make a very large withdrawal, leave your job and start billing your new friends $20,000 a month or better as a "consultant."

Brown is but the most recent inductee into that growing fraternity of failed federal bureaucrats who have earned an excellent living as consultants despite their obvious incompetence.

Ah . . . the federal government, where unlike the private sector, post-employment financial remuneration generally bears little relationship to competence on the job (you don't expect to see a convicted businessman like Kenneth Lay offering seminars on corporate management or ethics).

What makes the federal government so different? For starters, despite talk to the contrary by every modern president, we've never adopted a code of conduct for federal appointees that truly shuts the revolving door between the government and corporate America. More importantly, however, we keep letting one administration after another get away with appointing people based solely on personal connections or political support, rather than demonstrated - and relevant - ability.

Until we get serious about hiring people for top federal jobs based at least on some meaningful measure on their qualifications - and rewarding them when they succeed or firing them when they fail - the number of people whose post-government service business cards will read, "Michael Brown, Consultant" will only increase.

Former U.S. Rep. Bob Barr is a frequent commentator on political and social issues and the chairman of the American Conservative Union Foundation's 21st Century Center for Privacy and Freedom